Marriage & Sex

Sex means different things to different people. For some, following traditional understanding especially in Africa of sex, they believe that sex is only for procreation alone. Therefore, amongst the ladies, having been tutored by their mums, who had that idea of sex from their own marriages – equally passed down from previous generation, they come into marriage with a rigid mind-set. They agree to have sex only when they want to get pregnant. As soon as they take in, sex can go on holidays until they deliver. After delivery, they are required to wait until they wean their children at 6 months, before they are free to co-habit in sex with their husbands again. Any wonder then, that the man who is the husband in this case is obviously “licensed” to seek sexual fulfillment outside the confines of marriage. And the women, also erroneously educated by their mothers, that men are traditional hunters or flirts, do not give a hoot as to who their husbands run around with. We must keep in view that ladies with this orientation still exists. A man seeking to marry and discovering this orientation during the frank talk about sex must seek help toinculcate the right knowledge within their relationship in order to overturn it for good.
Conversely, there are men who have over-indulged themselves in sex to the point that they loathe it. To them, it is just part of every male/female relationship. Getting married therefore for them is just a fulfillment of a social and societal duty. The right principle of satisfying each other’s sexual needs is therefore relegated to the background. These men, inadvertently or intentionally deprive their wives of sex and ration it as they please.
In another breathe, there are ladies who have been very sexually active from teenage years up until the point of marriage. Such ladies must have had multiple partners and they are obviously not novices in sex. When these ladies pair up in marriage with guys who had not been very active, there would be a serious disconnect as both of them may not be sexually compatible. The lady may be more demanding and the guy may not understand why.
All these and other factors within the concept of sexual compatibility are the basic reasons why intending couples must seat down and discuss their sexual history, knowledge, orientation and understanding and ensure that they reach an equilibrium that both of them will be comfortable to live with. Without this, trouble looms in the horizon. Sexual unfaithfulness is the major allowance that any of the partners have in order to seek legal and legitimate divorce after marriage. There is a need therefore for couples to take pre-emptive and proactive measures to prevent such a situation from happening.
Sex is a beautiful thing as long as it is practiced within the context of marriage. Those who have been sexually active outside marriage must realize that it is both wrong morally and spiritually and must stop in order to take up the right understanding of sex as should be enjoyed in marriage. Intending couples and singles as a whole should take note. Talk frankly and openly before you take a leap.

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