Dont Be Trapped In Your Past….Let Go & Move On By Yasmin

You can’t keep acting like a child and want to be addressed as an adult.
You can’t keep making decisions based on your perception as a child and what same results as people who are making a grown-up decision.
There are times in our lives where we need to let the past remain where it belongs which is the past, and move on with our lives.
There are lessons from our past that can be handy in the future, take the lesson and run along.
It is hard and painful but this is the trick, no growth no pain, growth itself can be painful and that is my point, growth means there is an expansion, there is a pulling from the original state to something bigger, something bigger demands space, and not having enough space causes discomfort(that is the pain).
Adjust quickly to the pain and grow with it.
How do you take the lessons without the Pain (Experience?)
Let’s paint a picture in our minds, of a young girl called Bisola, who met this handsome, Charming, Loving and Caring young man called Ahmad.
They fell deeply in love and dated for a year, Bisola got pregnant but Ahmad wasn’t ready to be a father, she went for a painful evacuation using her saved money because Ahmad wasn’t buoyant to take such financial responsibility.
A few months later, Ahmad called it quit with Bisola and here is Bisola in tears, even contemplating suicide and promising never to love again…oh she hates men now.
How Do We Expect Bisola to Move on…?
First, there are enough lessons in Bisola and Ahmad’s story, how do we expect Bisola to use the lessons from her relationship with Ahmad in the future.
Steps to Healing….
Take Responsibility: Bisola needs to Heal and in healing, she needs to forgive herself and take responsibility for the role she played in their story, from pre-marital sex to getting pregnant and the evacuation.
Why does she need to take any responsibility? Bisola needs to hold herself accountable for every good and bad decision she takes, a person who never takes responsibility for anything is a person who will never grow. Taking responsibility is the first step to healing
Forgiveness: this is hard but do you know that it is easy to forgive others than ourselves.
So Bisola needs to start with forgiving Ahmad, for the heartbreak, the abandonment in the time of need, the timing of the break-up shows he was insensitive to her feeling.
She needs to forgive him, they don’t have to be friends again but she isn’t holding any grudge towards him.
She isn’t laying curses on him, she isn’t going all out to hurt him, his family or career.
What makes this easy for Bisola is for her to come to terms that as handsome, rich, caring and loving as Ahmad, he doesn’t deserve her, she is too much of a woman for him to handle so he misbehaved.
The moment to feel people who have hurt don’t deserve you in the first place and can’t handle you, you natural stop hating them.
A slave who other slaves will definitely misbehave when he is meant to serve the Queen.
It’s natural, you cannot give what you do not have, you can’t use an item you do not know its value.
With this mindset, it becomes easier to forgive Ahmad.
Forgiveness in this scenario is two-way, forgive the man and she needs to forgive herself.
We are human, we aren’t perfect and can never be perfect, and everybody at some point messed –up.
Life is full of ups and downs, sweet and sour experience make life worth living.
Forgiving oneself comes with an assurance that there is more of yourself to give the world’
What life gives you is as a result of what you put into the world.
So with that positivity, you are ready to take the world with your head up high.
Bisola would love again, trust again, give another man a chance but with a little care.
Take the lessons and grown with the pains. The pains from heartbreak won’t kill you but make you stronger.
If you have to run back to your past everything something happens or using your perception of the past to make a decision now….You are still Trapped in Your past.
Where is the growth? One bad experience does not mean you are a bad person /or unlucky with men.
One bad man doesn’t mean all men are bad, that man wasn’t good for you.
Don’t expect the world to address you as an adult if you keep acting as a child. Grow up!!! Move on!!! And be the Queen*winks*
Listen to One Man by R.Kelly and Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.

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