Man: You are boring!!! Making love to you na government work o!!! You are ungrateful!!! You are confrontational! You are opinionated! You are ambitious!!! You are angry! You are principled!!! You are a woman for goodness sake so you don’t have to be like that….
Woman: Like how? Like I know what is good and healthy for me? Like I don’t want to be your sex toy? Like I refused to be abused? Oh or because I am educated enough to ask questions and want to learn more in life? Do you mean because I don’t see the world through your eyes, I have a problem???? What am I like?
Man: You Know what you are madam and you honestly aren’t ready for a relationship when you are ready you won’t be all these…..
Does the above conversation sounds familiar, most women in their 30s must have had this talk or a similar one.
Well, the essence of this write-up is not to make excuses for ladies with terrible character but to open our eyes to how we shoot ourselves and cry later for being heartbroken.
Most women who must have had the above conversation are women who are Goal driven, women with big dreams for themselves and always on the run to meet such goal.
These are women who might not be rich but are successful in their little way. These women who have seen or read of other women ordeal, they prepare their minds to protect themselves from being belittled and treated in a similar way. But guess what? It doesn’t work often times.
Women love compliments, which means a word of appreciation can either lift or mar a woman self-esteem. So women in this category seek out for love from men who love their success but not men who are in love with the real woman.
The man loves her for what she was able to make out of nothing, he loves her for the fact that she could come this far in life without necessarily being sponsored by any Baba.
The man loves the thought of him being with a woman who has earned respect from all. He is blown away by the woman’s success and tells her all the sweetest nonsense ever, she falls in love and feels safe to want to do more.
That is where the problem begins.
The woman’s enthusiasm for a better her becomes a threat and as such he gets intimidated…You know why?
He was never in love with the story of her success, he was never in love with her spirit of eagerness to want more in life. He didn’t even see it because he wasn’t interested, so he resolves to verbal abuse, he calls her boring, disrespectful, angry, confrontation etc.
Verbal and emotional abuse are siblings, so the game plan is to break her to feel manly.These are the kind of men, women in this category fall in love with most times and this is because these women are also intimated by men who don’t fall for their success, men whose dreams are bigger, men who are not ready to romance the truth, men who aren’t buying mediocrity, men who don’t have the sweetest words to describe her, but they are so proud of her.
Those are the Real Men, they will lift you up verbally with ideas, opportunities, and these men are good at exercising a woman mentally.
These are the men who aren’t intimidated by any woman’s moi-moi success, in fact when they are done, the woman will be 10times better than she was before the shown-up.
Because these men know for sure that the woman’s success today will color him in the future, especially when the colors are so bright and beautiful.
And disappointingly, I find myself in that same category, we deserve men with a bigger dream and not some Ewo-le-wo somebody*tongue out*